HOLY CRAP, THIS THING IS INCREDIBLE!

This little McQueen minaudiere is seriously amazing!

(Image WWD.  Nice nails, too!)

I absolutely LOVE the bird brass knuckles.  Someone in Etsy-world, please create bird brass knuckles for me.  

That said, this weekend our refrigerator crapped out and we had to buy a new one.  We certainly didn't buy the most expensive one, but we ended up with something that looks like this: 

The total cost for this fridge was definitely a lot less than the minaudiere.  In fact, it was cheaper than any of these new arrivals at Bergdorf:

(Alexander McQueen, YSL, Miu Miu)

(Givenchy, Valentino, Louboutin.  Okay, the Givenchy printed tote is slightly cheaper than the fridge, but it deserves inclusion due to its kick-ass-ness)

As a former accessories designer, I understand what makes bags so expensive.  Unlike many modern things, handbags are still largely made by hand.  Even that $59.99 Jessica Simpson purse you picked up at Macy's was probably stitched together by a (young) skilled craftsman (in China).

That said, I just wonder if you asked one of the indigenous uncontacted gas-beings of Jupiter, what costs more, this steel robot that creates cold air and ice cubes, or that small sack, what s/he/it would say.  Maybe the sack, who knows?  Maybe art does trump function.

Seriously internets, bird brass knuckles.  NOW. 

Have a great week everyone! 

PLUS, YARDWORK

When you come home from work, you have to water your imaginary plants:

(Blazer, Zara; Peplum top, vintage; pants and necklace, H&M; shoes, Aldo; sunglasses, YSL; watch, Casio; bracelets, Pandora, Alex+Ani)

The peplum top is one of my faves.  It was originally an 80's dress with a voluminous bubble skirt that I bought it at the Park Slope Beacon's Closet years ago.  I never wore it because it was simultaneously too tight yet also made me look like a marshmellow.  Then one day I cut the skirt off and woila. 

The watering can is from Ikea and was a gift from my friend and first NYC roommate, L.  She tied the festive yellow ribbon around it and for some reason it holds a tremendous amount of sentimental value to me.  L. is one of the most fashionable and mysterious women I know and she actually got me into the MET's Costume Institute Ball one year.  At the time I was completely broke so I doctored up my high school prom dress and wore it with a pair of Gucci shoes that I emptied out my bank account to buy at the Bergdorf shoe sale.

These sparkly shoes are borderline FLOs (For Limo Only) but they are just comfortable enough to make it through the day.

Have a great weekend, Knuckles!

DIY REDUX: SHOES FOR LEVITATING LIKE LUIGI

UPDATE: The shoes that I DIY'ed last week may be too cheap to walk in, but they're perfect for hovering on overcast afternoons:

Back down to earth:

(Dress, Topshop, part of the first Kate Moss for Topshop line years ago.  I bought the dress from the capsule collection at Barney's, and the first time I wore it was to my husband's b-school band's first show at The Keg of Evanston, widely considered one of the top college bars in the country.  Let's just say I was incredibly overdressed.  Watch, Casio; Shoes, DIY, this is probably the only time I will ever wear these things; bracelets, Alex & Ani, Pandora; necklace, So Good jewelry store, Lolita-style sunglasses, Times Square).

By the way, these photos depict exactly how I fly in my dreams, by pedaling my feet back and forth in the air as I rise up like a helicopter, much like Luigi in Super Mario Brothers 2:

(BTW #2, I am in love with my new remote switch for my camera!  I'm not at all a photographer, so thanks for indulging me as I geek out on it).

Have a great week, Little Knuckles!

DIY CAPTOE BOOTIES (APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE TO MY FEET)

WHAT'S UP Knuckles!

Ever since the Louis Vuitton cap toe pump came out last S/S 2012, I have really been loving this look.  What a gorgeous way to update pumps:

(LV pre-fall 2012)

Pointy cap toe pumps are pretty much everywhere now, which is not a bad thing.  But I am especially excited that the trend is extending into more bad-ass territory.  Check out these amazing new Jeffrey Campbell boots:

(Zorro Combat Boot, Jeffrey Campbell, Nastygal.com)

I was feeling inspired by this LV-meets-Daria look, and decided to update an ancient pair of faux-suede wedges that had been sitting in my closet:

I bought these out thrifting a few years ago.  They were unworn and I paid less than $4 for them.  Truth be told, it was $4 poorly spent because I've ever worn them.  They are a) incredibly cheap and b) make my feet look like a couple of concrete blocks.  In sum, these were the perfect shoes to go DIY on.

For this project, I used fabric paint in black and silver metallic:

The process is so simple you don't need photos, but whatevs.  Step 1: Mask off the uppers:

Step 2: Paint.  Apply a couple of coats, letting the paint dry in-between.

Step 3: Let dry.  Patience, girl.

Here they are with black wedges, looking a million times better.  

I probably should've left them like this, but my vision forged on.

Step 4: Mask off the cap toe.  Paint and dry.

Step 5: Remove the masking tape, add black laces, step back and....

Step 6: Go buy the Jeffrey Campbell boots.  While I'm surprised by how well the actual cap toes turned out (it looks much more metallic in real life), the shoes are just so cheap that I'm not sure I can wear them without completely insulting my feet.  They may never speak to me again. 

I also think that one shoe is a half-size too large.

The lesson here is: never buy super cheap shoes.  Don't do it!

Have a great day, Knuckles!

SANITY IN A FINGERPAINTED WORLD

Hello Little Knuckles!  Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!

On Saturday Mr. Brass Knuckles and I went on a well-needed Date Night.  He and I have differing opinions on Date Night.  He generally prefers seeing a movie and grabbing dinner somewhere dark and intimate, where we can press noses and gaze into each others' eyes in relative privacy.

I, on the other hand, like to go to wherever is the most crowded place in the city so I can feel like a part of Planet Earth again, and not isolated to my small finger-painted fortress.

But Saturday night we readily agreed on the latter.  We were feeling coop'ed up and needed a break from the id-driven dictators tearing up our house, so we headed to Big Star for tacos and greyhounds.  There were about a million people at Big Star and the evening did not disappoint:

(Dress, French Connection; Shoes, 9 West; Bag, Mulberry for Target)

Okay, I admit that the dress is a little Kardashian.  In hindsight I probably should've worn Spanx or something.  

I bought a pair of Spanx about 10 years ago for my cousin's wedding.  Her bridesmaids dresses were champagne-colored silk, and I swear you could make out every hump and lady lump.  Occasionally I'll ponder the utility of Spanx, but can't bring myself to wear them because no matter what else I'm wearing I feel horribly unsexy and always think of poor Wendy Beamish, Mare Winningham's character in my favorite movie, St. Elmo's Fire.

For your viewing amusement.  Will some please for the love of God make an animated gif of Rob Lowe playing his sax at the bar?

Anyhow, Saturday night was the first time I wore the dress -- it requires a little confidence (luckily, there was plenty of "confidence" to be had at the bar!).

The shoes are a great find from the back of my closet.  I bought these Nine West wedges years ago for a business trip to China.  I wanted shoes that were comfy yet stylish for the plane.  For some reason I stopped wearing them and they were relegated to the closet to gather dust.  They need a little TLC, but after a trip to the cobbler I think they might become my favorite "new" pair of shoes!

Have a great week, little Knuckles!  May it be filled with the wails of funky, funky sax.  SERGIO!