Today Mr. Brass Knuckles and I accompanied CoStar to her first day of Kindergarten.  I was surprisingly emotional; it was one of those rare moments when I am struck by what it actually means to raise a child.

I'm at the age where there really does seem to be a line between people with and without kids.  Lately my social media feed has been blowing up with articles arguing one way or the other and I've got to ask, what's the deal with this passive-aggressive animosity?  

Having kids is awesome.  Not having kids -- also awesome.  As a parent to two young children, I often envy my childless friends.  You get to sleep in, go to movies, party until 4am without consequence, and not worry about having to slip out of the office at 5pm every day.  You get to go to the gym, wear silk, and take fabulous vacations.  You probably have an amazing sex life.  I would be lying if I didn't say that Mr. Brass Knuckles and I often fantasize about our lives in 16 years, when both little Knuckles are off at college and we are not always on the verge of falling asleep.

However, there are things about being a parent that cannot be replicated.  Every morning, there are two people who shower me with love like we've been apart for 12 years instead of 12 hours.  I'm constantly cracking up at jokes I've heard a million times but never cease being funny.  I get to deeply inhale freshly shampoo-ed hair and soft pink feet, which smell unlike anything you've ever smelled; they smell so good they literally make your heart ache.  In the future, I'll get to visit these knuckleheads at college, and plan wedding and baby showers.  And if all goes well, there will be at least two people crying genuine tears at my deathbed.

(Blouse, Pleione; skirt, used to be a dress, H&M; shoes, 9West; on CoStar: dress, Carter's; shoes, Crocs; backpack, Pottery Barn Kids)

Sometimes people with kids wax poetic about life before kids, and I admit it can sometimes border on the pathetic.  In fact, one could argue this entire blog is partly a celebration of my past.  But the thing is, my life before kids is my only frame of reference of my life without kids. No kids = twenties and twenties = awesomeness so... #TransitiveProperty.  I will never know what my 30-something life would've been like without them.  Maybe in this alternate reality my band is touring Japan, or I'm a suburban-dwelling marketer, or Mr. Brass Knuckles leaves me for Sofia Vergara I MEAN WHO KNOWS?

 If you don't have kids, then you've escaped the trappings of evolution and probably experience the world in a way I never will.  If you have kids, then you've had days like today -- days that are both heartbreaking and totally f*cking magical.  As my good friend always says, it's not a contest to see who's life is better.  You and I, we are both very, very lucky.

Have a great week, Knuckles!


  1. This post made me cry. I can't believe Coco is in kindergarten! I'm trying to enjoy every moment of my childless life while I can, cause I'm sure in a blink of an eye I'll be taking my future little one to school. <3

  2. This is a great reminder. With or without kids, everyone's life is different, beautiful and unique.
    I wouldn't change mine for anything. Like you said, life before kids is only a frame of reference but now, there is so much more to live for and so many more lessons learned!
    Thank you for the transparency of your thoughts. :)
    Have a beautiful day,
    Love Sparkle Pretty

  3. sylvie starts pre-K on monday! it's a crazy emotional thing. i'm sure i won't make it through the upcoming "new parent orientation" and then the "back to school night" dry eyed.
    xo, gina


Thanks for your comment! I love your feedback!