MOVIE STARLET INSPIRATION, AND THE DRUNKEN SHOE HUMP

Hello Knuckles!

One weird example (among many) that proves I am turning into my mother is my upper-arm phobia.  I rarely wear tank tops or sleeveless things.  I don't even try on sleeveless things anymore because every time I think, This would look so much better with sleeves.  I think the last sleeveless thing I wore was my wedding dress, and when I look at my wedding photos now I think, That would've looked so much better with sleeves.

However, this past week I took inspiration from an old photo of Jennifer Aniston looking amazing in a black vest worn as a shirt:

(Sunnies, Target; vest (old) and skirt (new), H&M; belt, Banana Republic; shoes, Barneys Co-Op; necklace, J.Crew Factory; purse, Elliott Lucca; bracelets, Alex+Ani)

Speaking of weddings, these were my wedding shoes!  I found these while browsing at Barneys.  I was a very nonchalant bride and they felt right for a beach wedding, so I tried them on and asked the lady next to me if she liked them.  She said (and I'll never forget this because she was also very nonchalant), Well, they look good on your feet.  

I wore the shoes for most of the reception and they were surprisingly comfy.  Or at least comfy enough to get me over the drunken shoe hump; you know that thing when you're having such a good time that you cease experiencing pain until the next morning when your feet look and feel like they've been gnawed on by piranhas?

Have a great weekend, Knuckles!  Muchos besitos!

THE SWEETEST THING, OR DO I LOOK LIKE A PINHEAD?

Hello Knuckles!

Clothes are funny.  They can either make you feel super confident or super self-conscious.  

I've always loved this sweet little faux fur jacket that my sister-in-law bought me a few years ago, but I rarely wear it because I think it makes my head look small.  THAT IS SO WEIRD.

(Who says fashion bloggers don't smile?  Sunnies, Gucci; jacket, Velvet; dress, H&M; name necklaces, PersonalizedBoutique.com, MyNameNecklace.com; earrings, Juicy Couture; shoes, Charlotte Russe.  Okay, normally I don't buy super cheap shoes because I don't want to insult my hard-working feet but I saw these knock-off Loubs in the window and you know what sometimes style trumps quality.  And they were about $1400 cheaper). 

Anyhow, I've learned that people always scrutinize themselves far more than others do.  Unless your outfit is completely outlandish, people generally don't notice what you're wearing.  Maybe that's why I love blogs like The Sartorialist and People of Walmart; they make you actually take a moment to appreciate all the fashion that is happening around us at every moment.  

So does this make me look like a pinhead or what?  I'm talking to you, KCB!

Have a great weekend, Knuckles!

DIY CAPTOE BOOTIES (APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE TO MY FEET)

WHAT'S UP Knuckles!

Ever since the Louis Vuitton cap toe pump came out last S/S 2012, I have really been loving this look.  What a gorgeous way to update pumps:

(LV pre-fall 2012)

Pointy cap toe pumps are pretty much everywhere now, which is not a bad thing.  But I am especially excited that the trend is extending into more bad-ass territory.  Check out these amazing new Jeffrey Campbell boots:

(Zorro Combat Boot, Jeffrey Campbell, Nastygal.com)

I was feeling inspired by this LV-meets-Daria look, and decided to update an ancient pair of faux-suede wedges that had been sitting in my closet:

I bought these out thrifting a few years ago.  They were unworn and I paid less than $4 for them.  Truth be told, it was $4 poorly spent because I've ever worn them.  They are a) incredibly cheap and b) make my feet look like a couple of concrete blocks.  In sum, these were the perfect shoes to go DIY on.

For this project, I used fabric paint in black and silver metallic:

The process is so simple you don't need photos, but whatevs.  Step 1: Mask off the uppers:

Step 2: Paint.  Apply a couple of coats, letting the paint dry in-between.

Step 3: Let dry.  Patience, girl.

Here they are with black wedges, looking a million times better.  

I probably should've left them like this, but my vision forged on.

Step 4: Mask off the cap toe.  Paint and dry.

Step 5: Remove the masking tape, add black laces, step back and....

Step 6: Go buy the Jeffrey Campbell boots.  While I'm surprised by how well the actual cap toes turned out (it looks much more metallic in real life), the shoes are just so cheap that I'm not sure I can wear them without completely insulting my feet.  They may never speak to me again. 

I also think that one shoe is a half-size too large.

The lesson here is: never buy super cheap shoes.  Don't do it!

Have a great day, Knuckles!

FATHER'S DAY GIFTS FOR A COOL DUDE WHO JUST HAPPENED TO SPAWN

I am horrible about getting gifts for Mr. Brass Knuckles.  One year for Valentine's Day I actually gave him a bottle of contact lens solution.  CONTACT LENS SOLUTION.

What makes it even worse is that Mr. Brass Knuckles always has something thoughtful and lovely for me, even on those occasions when we promise not to give gifts to each other.  This guy...

Don't be like me.  Buy your Mr. something, perhaps something below:

1. A cool poster for his office

Grand Taxonomy of Rap Names poster, Fab.com, $19

2. A novelty tee-shirt

T-shirt, Threadless.com, $20

3. Khakis that don't suck

Bottle Rockets pants, Bonobos.com, $135 

4. An invisible undershirt (how cool is this?  This company was started by my friend Jason, who I worked with eons ago in sunny southern California).  You can't see it under your dress shirt!

Invisible undershirt, Sloane Men, $34

5. Boba Fett cutout (Mr. Brass Knuckles already has one of these.  We are actually on our 2nd cutout.  The first one we found on the street in Cobble Hill, and it was as if he found a $100 bill.  Unfortunately, this one was lost (or STOLEN?!) during our move to Chicago, and I replaced it for him last Christmas, I think)

Cutout, Amazon.com, $43.95

6. Sleep.  Hair matted, lines on the face, wake up at noon after you've already been up with the kids for 6 hours SLEEP.

7. A personalized hoodie

Personalized hoodie just for Mr. Brass Knuckles, Rugby, $96

8. A belt that doesn't look like it came with pleated polyester pants

Marc Jacobs belt, Parkandbond.com, $285

9.  A new pair of Timberlands

Oxford, Opening Ceremony & Timberland, Opening Ceremony, $165

10. A monogrammed tie bar

Tie bar, Paige Forland, Etsy.com, $18

And if all else fails:

Renu contact lens solution, Drugstore.com, $11.99

Happy shopping, little Knuckles!

A GIANT, REFLECTIVE SURFACE ON A HOT DAY

Happy Tuesday after Memorial Day, everyone!

Our weekend was pretty low-key; we spent lots of time with my family, had a few BBQ's, and set up the sprinklers and kiddie pool in the backyard (it's nice to see CoStar and her brother run through the grass in bare feet with abandon.  I have a strange phobia about bare feet and grass; here's hoping irrational foot rot fears aren't necessarily inheritable).  

On Memorial Day itself, Mr. Brass Knuckles and I took the kids to Millennium Park downtown to explore the Bean and Crown Fountain.  The Bean and Crown Fountain are these incredibly beautiful works of public sculpture, and they are normally surrounded by a million tourists:

Cloud Gate (aka The Bean), Anish Kapoor; Crown Fountain, Jaume Plensa 

Who would've thought bringing the kids to a giant reflective surface on a 97 degree day would actually be a good idea?  They loved it!

My outfit was nothing extraordinary:

Silk dress, F21; Vest, La Rok; Shoes, Asos.com; necklace, Francesca's Collections; Lolita-style sunglasses, bought at a kiosk in Times Square. On CoStar: sailor dress, H&M; sequin Mary Janes, Target; Dora the Explorer sunglasses

I bought the dress -- which is real silk, surprisingly -- sometime in the last two years from Forever 21.  I purchased the denim vest, which attaches to a blazer, at a LaRok sample sale years ago.  I just Googled LaRok to see if they're still around; sadly, doesn't look like it!  I used to wear the vest/blazer with a sleeveless yellow bubble dress, which I still have, when I was first pregnant with CoStar.

The shoes have silly googly eyes and eyebrows on them.  When they first came in the mail, CoStar was HORRIFIED.  She begged me not to wear them: "Everyone will make fun of you!" She has since learned to appreciate the absurd, which is a good thing since I loved the shoes so much I got them in two colors:

These shoes are the flimsiest things ever and manufacturing them definitely contributed to the downfall of the polar bear.  Also, they reek of plastic and glue, so much that they give you reverse foot stink: they actually give your feet BO.  I feel guilty wearing them, but they've got eyes and eyebrows, you guys!   

Anyhow, the Bean was a lot of fun but hot, and the Crown Fountain was the perfect complement:

And now it is Tuesday and now it is back to work.  Good night, little Knuckles!  Hope you are reading this with a tall glass of wine, cuz I'm drinking one as I write!

UPPER ARM FAIL

On Sunday it was so warm we packed a picnic and took the kids to one of our favorite local parks.

After a lovely meal of sandwiches, raspberries, and salt-and-vinegar potato chips, the entire family checked out the jungle gym:

including a certain spaghetti-armed weakling:

Oh MAN!  It seriously took every bit of teeth-gritting effort to pathetically hurl myself across a few rungs.  Long ago were the days of jogging and pilates -- this body is no longer a temple, but an outhouse.  The whole experience bizarrely reminded me of this old Charles Atlas ad: 

Where did this ad come from and why does my subconscious know about it?  Did I see it in an Archie comic book from like 1812?  I actually had to Google it.  It reminds me of something Dan Clowes would draw.  Sadly I am Joe, he of the ill-fitting high-waisted red trunks in dire need of Dynamic Tension....

I rarely wear shorts, but it was so hot that it was a good time to pull out my Imitation of Christ short-alls.  I believe these were S/S 2006 and I bought them at Barneys Co-Op after seeing them in the catalog:

Short-alls, Imitation of Christ, $(I don't remember)

I wore these short-alls the day after my wedding, when Mr. Brass Knuckles and I drove from our beautiful wedding location in Longboat Key, Florida to our first honeymoon destination, Disney World.  That morning we shared a romantic first meal as a married couple on the balcony of our honeymoon suite.  I remember sitting on his lap, enjoying the view and the salty air, and we were talking about how happy we were when all the sudden a giant, mangy black crow swooped down onto the railing not two feet from where we were sitting, and we were like UHHHHH.....

 Our 2nd meal as a married couple was at a Boston Market in a strip mall somewhere between Sarasota and Orlando.  Say what you will, their fusilli mac and cheese is delicious.

On Sunday I wore the short-alls with my favorite pair of comfy, go-to summer sandals that came out last year as part of the Dolce Vita for Target line,

Sandals, Dolce Vita for Target, $39.99

and my Carrera Champion Aviator glasses:

Sunglasses, Carrera, $109

Mr. Brass Knuckles got me these sunglasses for my birthday a few years ago.  Lady Gaga's Bad Romance video had just come out, and I said he could buy me one of two things, her Benjamin Cho polar bear coat:

or the sunglasses: 

I was very happy with Mr. Brass Knuckles' choice -- I would've only worn that coat a few times, and I wear these sunglasses all the time!  Amirite?  Love tap!

Good night, little Knuckles!

MOVIE NIGHT

One of Mr. Brass Knuckle's and my favorite things to do is go to the movies.  On Friday, he really wanted to see the Avengers.

So for our movie date, I pulled out an old cowl-necked mesh top I got at Foley & Corinna on the Lower East Side, back when F&C was just a cool little boutique with color-blocked racks of gorgeous vintage clothes.

This top is basically see-through, and was one of my hardest working tops back in the day.  I used to pair it with boot-cut jeans from Express (!) and a pair of gold shoes that I bought at the Space Outlet in Ticino, Switzerland during my fashion days. I fear I shall never wear those shoes again, because sadly I think years of pounding the Manhattan sidewalk were not kind to them.

I wore this very outfit on one of the first -- and only -- times I ever hung out with a bunch of investment bankers.  We went to The Park when it first opened -- a ridiculous bar with a hot-tub on the roof.  No one was really impressed by anyone that night, if you know what I mean.

This top is too short to wear with jeans now (i.e., I'm too old for midriff!) so I paired it with high-waisted black trousers and an old pair of Prada shoes:

Mr. Brass Knuckles rarely calls me out when I'm being ridiculous, but I was wearing these shoes the first time he ever scolded me.  It was New Years Eve, 2008, and we celebrated at a Rubulad party where my band was playing.  Amidst the chaos of a) performing in costume, b) our sweaty, half-naked male dance troupe, and c) general mayhem, I lost one shoe.  I cried the entire way home (did I mention I had had a few cocktails?) until finally Mr. Brass Knuckles told me to let it go -- "IT'S JUST A SHOE!"  And then I realized how ridiculous I was being (though I still loved the shoes enough to buy another pair).

To this day, whenever I remind him of how low-maintenance I am he brings up this incident, ha ha!

The Avengers turned out to be great!  Especially since we smuggled in two 24 ounce Modelos  (notice the Binny's bag in the photo above). 

Afterwards we were supposed to head out for drinks but we decided to go home, watch Jimmy Fallon, and fall asleep instead.  That's Friday night in the suburbs, y'all!

Kisses, little Knuckles!